Romantic or Pragmatic

Last night at my sister's place we watched a movie called 'Letters to Juliet' (actually second time i've seen it). As most people would call it more of a 'chick flick', i  usually try to stay away from watching films of this nature. A simple story line, predictable ending, yet this film had an ingredient that somehow moved me.

I'm not sure if it was how well i could identify with this story, or perhaps more how i could not identify with this story. The story begins with a journey of 'true love' interupted by fear, and pressures of others (in this case parents). I'm sure many of us can relate to this. The story also reveals that both characters had moved on from this relationship to what many might consider a happy and productive life.

Years had passed since this girl had run away from her 'true love', yet 'fate' would bring her back through a letter she had written 50 ago. For a film, it's about as 'romantic' a story line you could get. The story being what it is, I started wondering about those 50 years as this woman got married, had kids and then grandkids, seemingly living a content and happy life. Clearly at some point a choice was made to move on and love another. Was this a pragmatic choice or a romantic choice, the story never reveals.

Perhaps it depends on the emotional make up of an individual, and the values he/she considers more important. There's little question that to have balance there needs to be pragmatic side to a romantic relationship, and a romantic side to a relationship initiated by pragmatic decisions. I've seen very happy couples who's love has grown from seemingly pragmatic decisions, as well as relationships crumble which began from a whirlwind of romance. And vica versa...

The underlying question: Is love given or is it grown? Naturally there needs to be growth, and we should do things to nurture our love for another, but what is actually in the initial seed of true love? Is it's main component romantic or pragmatic? And is the answer that simple?

Back to the story. Here was a romance and 'true love' overcome by fear. In the interim she married, was the love pragmatic or romantic we don't know. Yet, when she found her lost 'true love' after 50 years, her first reaction was to run away. Why did she want to run? Isn't 'true love' supposed to drive away all fear?

Pragmatic decisions can also be driven by fear. Fear of being alone, fear of not starting a family at the 'right age', or a fear of never finding 'true love' again may drive us to make pragmatic choices, which if unwisely made can lead to disaster.

Yet this 'true love' brought her back after 50 years. She needed to overcome a fear to make this journey and only when that fear had been adressed could love can grow and be 'perfected' in her life. It is not 'true love which drives away fear, but 'perfect love' which drives away all fear. And perfecting love takes work, time and definately courage.

So, is the seed of 'true love' more pragmatic or romantic? Though i tend to be more of a romantic, perhaps it's best i leave this question unaswered for now. What i do know is that we need to live, learn, and love wherever our journey takes us. And as we live and learn, i pray we would have the courage to find love and not be driven to or from it by fear.