Gift bag

Yesterday, I asked the sales clerk at the supermarket if they sell gift bags. ‘Yes’ she replied, and pointed towards the dog poop bags. Well, it wasn’t exactly the kind of gift i had in mind...

Funny as it was, it got me thinking about the kind of gifts we actually give. What gifts do we give and receive, and how are they valued? I’ve always struggled with finding gifts for others. It’s not that i don’t want to give, quite the opposite as i like the gifts i give to be well received. Usually before a birthday or similar occasion you can find me wandering around a shopping mall, sometimes taking hours to find the right gift. And when i do find something to give, i almost always if feel it’s not good enough or that i could have found something more appropriate.

Maybe i’m not like most people. Perhaps others don’t go through such ordeals in buying gifts..

to be continued...

Murky waters at Jõe 5/7

Estonians are a strange lot. They seem to be quite friendly and pleasant towards others, though not that often not towards one another. You can never tell what an Estonian is up to, they often say one thing but have something completely different in mind...

Estonians are a strange lot. They seem to be quite friendly and pleasant towards others, though not that often not towards one another. You can never tell what an Estonian is up to, they often say one thing but have something completely different in mind...

Six years ago, i bought a couple of properties with the address  Jõe 5/7 in Tallinn. The street name ‘Jõe’ means river in Estonian, since a river once flowed in the vicinity. The building has been converted from industrial to residential by a fly by night builder, who quickly liquidated his business soon after the building was completed. Needless to say, this building has it’s share of problems, the least and most of them water related.

Now if these problems were only due to flooding from a river that once flowed through there, i could understand it, but it’s become apparent that the building itself seems leaky by design. In the past 6 years my properties have suffered flooding from leaky pipes at least half a dozen times.

The former building management refused to deal with the first incidents, where my bicycle, some furniture and much of my sporting goods suffered damage from rusty water and subsequent mold. For two years i fought tooth and nail to get the problem rectified and damage compensated to no avail. I eventually refused to pay management fees until the damage was repaired, then reached an agreement with building manager Aleksandr that they would quickly repair the situation and i would pay as soon as the repairs are done. Fair enough, or so i thought...

Except they didn’t do the repairs, nor did they make any effort to find the source of the problem. I instead got a threat and legal action taken against me. Being overseas at the time, i was ill-prepared to defend myself, though i did eventually argue my case with the judge. They won on technicality, i had to pay them and start a new legal case to recover my losses.

But now the building management team had changed, and more reasonable people seemed to be in control, so i decided not to pursuit legal action. At a property owners meeting, they listed all the sins of the previous management, including pilfering of funds. The new management gave their commitment to get the house back in order. I believed them, or at least i wasn’t as skeptical as before...

(being edited)

There, but for the grace of God go i..

Monday night as i was walking back from the centre of town, i came across a poor soul who had fallen and smashed his face, which was swollen quite bad. As i stopped to help him, it became apparent that he was by no means sober or clean for that matter. I called an ambulance and agreed to wait with him until help arrived.

I helped him move to a more comfortable position, and then asked him where he lives, what he does for a living and what he’s doing on the street at this late hour in such bad shape. Barely coherant, he told me that he lives on the street and begs for a living (only to spend it on drowning his sorrows). He used to live in with his in-laws until his wife passed away 8 years ago. He also lost his job as a machine operator, i suspect as a result of turning to the bottle after not finding the means to cope with his sorrow adequately.

So he’s ended up walking the streets for the last 7 months. Here’s a 54 year old man with no place left to go, no one who cares enough to support him and help him work though his pain. I tried to talk with him some more, perhaps looking for a way to give him a good word of encouragement, but every word i could think of seemed so hollow when i considered all his losses, the loss of loved ones, loss of employment, and finally his loss of dignity. Due to his intoxicated state, it was difficult to carry on a meaningful conversation, i wonder how much good any of my words did anyways.

The ambulance soon showed up, and i left this poor soul in their care. As i continued walking, i glanced back several times wondering what kind of pain has brought him to this place in life Strangely, deep inside i could almost relate to him. Then it dawned on me, that could have easily been me! Except for the grace of God i’ve found.

You see, none of us are better than this guy. We all have failed, we all have had pain and we all have had sorrow. Some more than others, though fewer and fewer of us have been fortunate to find the love, acceptance and support from friends and family who surround us. Even still, how many of us who have not found that compassion and support, masquerading as if everything’s fine yet inside we’re in no better state than this poor man...

This world needs a lot more love and acceptance, not judgement and alienation of people who struggle in life. We love our comfort zones, we stay in the company of those who have positive outlooks and keep away from those who do not or tell them to get their act together. Where does that leave our society, where does that leave churches when Christians are so preoccupied with 'positive thinking' and ‘spiritual actions’. How often do we forget that life is much more than our self defined blessings and benefits...

We say Jesus that came into this world not for the well and prosperous but for the sick and needy. He didn’t have many nice words for those who loved their high positions and comfort zones. Why have we gotten things so backasward in our view of others, expecting them to conform to our standards, while not reaching down to those who are literally wallowing in their pain. We praise and preach about a God who is loving, forgiving and compassionate, but fail to exemplify His love and compassion when we see others need deep in mud and mire...

I pray all our eyes could be opened the next time we see someone in true need, and realize: ‘There, but for the grace of God go I...