Emptiness

News of Rick Warren’s son’s suicide saddened me deeply. In this time of devastating loss my heart goes out to the Warren family, and each person who mourns his untimely death.

Now i don’t know the circumstances which led to this young man taking his life, nor do in any way want to judge, but perhaps in some ways i can relate to the pain which leads to such a drastic actions. Yes, there have been moments so dark in my journey where i’ve contemplated ending it, but through what i can only describe as divine grace have i held on to a hope of something better.

Pain and loneliness has become a rampant epidemic in the 21st century. Yes, even though there are more options and activities than ever in history to fill our lives, many of us sense greater emptiness than ever. We are entertained and amused, we perform, strive in our careers, we probably socialize much more than our parents ever did, yet there is a gnawing emptiness that fills most souls, christian and 'heathen' alike. Many christians may deny it, but i bet if they could slow down and become truly quiet, 9 times out of 10 they will find the emptiness is still there. We tend to mask it with activity, albeit good activity.

The life propagated by many christian teachers and preachers, is often a far cry from what Jesus taught. We have this need for performance, to meet a standard set before us. Yet most standards set are unreachable, and even if some reach them, they inevitably topple on them. No standard is ever good enough, for even if we reach one there will be another to strive towards. That is why love and grace always trumps any need for purpose and performance.

I don’t how much emptiness this young man felt, nor how much pressure he felt to meet a standard purpose and performance set before him, and perhaps these aren’t the key questions to ask. Did this young man feel fully accepted as he was? I don’t know the answer to that, but i personally have rarely felt fully and unconditionally accepted by my believing peers. There’s always seems to be the expectation to meet their standards. But i thank God that through Christ i’m accepted by Him, completely and unconditionally. Not by purpose or performance, but only unconditional acceptance can truly fill the emptiness of a soul.

Everyone loves a Success Story

Over the past few days, I've received three separate invitations to events where speakers and teachers are sharing their experiences in business, ministry, or both. Two are large faith based organizations, the third is not, but all are organizations i have a high respect and regard for. Each invitation promoted speakers who have had great success in their calling or vocation.

Yes, everyone loves a success story. Not often do stories of apparent failure draw crowds. With the passing of Easter weekend, my thoughts have been drawn more to Christ's life, suffering, death and resurrection than usual. I've began thinking on how people perceived Him, as a success or a failure?

Jesus drew crowds, huge crowds at times. He spoke as a man with authority, his words pierced hearts of seekers, people who were searching for a change, truth, healing and redemption from their struggles. He touched lives, performed miracles, healed the lame and blind, even raised people from the dead. Word of His success reached far and wide.

People became ecstatic in following such a man, as there was none like him. They laid palm leaves on the road, praising Him as he rode on a donkey into Jerusalem. Never had anyone received such praise and adoration for what they had done. Yet how many really knew or understood the reason He came...

Christ's greatest success was actually what most men view as failure: His betrayal, arrest and death sentence. He lost it all. Not only was it all taken away from Him, He chose to give it all up voluntarily. He could have resisted, fought for His rights. He could have performed more signs and wonders to gain support and turn the masses towards Him again. Yet he chose to remain silent before his accusers, and to loose the respect of so many of His followers, even those closest to him. Yes, even Peter denied he had any association with Jesus.

People are so easily swayed by man's view of success and failure. I wonder how many of those who weeks earlier were amazed by Jesus, were now calling for His crucifixion. People who once followed, were now walking away. We really don't like to hear stories about difficulty and avoid talking about pain. Instead we judge people who seem to fail, questioning their credibility and abilities. Failures are usually not worth following, or even wasting any time with.

How many people remained at Christ's side while He died? You could easily count them on one hand, a far cry from the masses he drew weeks earlier. Yet His sacrificial death was His greatest deed, the greatest sacrifice anyone can give for another, an action worthy of more praise and honor than all of His previous words or miracles. But where had all that praise and honor disappeared to?

Resurrection day came quietly. No fanfare, no crowds drawn in to witness Christ's victory over death. This is news breaking material, think of the acclaim and respect He would have received, and how much more impact He could have had amongst the masses! No, God thinks differently than we do. He chose to raise Jesus with no witnesses on hand. Over the following days Jesus appeared to each person personally, but not to the masses. Why? Probably because He wants us to know Him personally, not as part of the masses who are so easily swayed by popular opinion on success and failure.   

A Worthy Substitute

Easter Sunday i heard a sermon on the Emmaus Road experience the disciples had after Christ had risen. They did not recognize Him, as they were preoccupied trying to figure out why things didn't go as they thought they should. And do we recognize Him as Risen Savior in the midst of our disappointments? It was a good sermon, however my thoughts were led to something the preacher probably didn't intend with his message.

The pastor posed a question: What is the greatest desire you have? My immediate response was clear, a longing for someone i miss very deeply (possibly not the best desire at this point, but an honest one). He shared that 20 years ago his and his wife's greatest desire was to have children. However, it was biologically an impossibility, though they long prayed for a miracle.

So in the midst of pursuing other desires, an opportunity for a career move was presented. It seemed to be all they had dreamed and prayed for (outside of having children). As they took some time to pray, expecting God to rubber stamp their decision, they both sensed God giving them a resounding 'No' instead! They could go ahead pursuing this plan, and though God may still bless them, they sensed it would not be the best plan as God had something better in mind.

After rejecting the wonderful offer, they remained living in the same place. Within weeks they were approached by a young pregnant teenager in the area who felt led to ask them to adopt her child since she did not have the means to look after the child herself. They knew this was God's plan. Sometime later another single gal was led to do the same. Now they have two beautiful kids, all orchestrated by God. Would have this happened if they had moved away? Who knows, but possibly not.

So was this God's ideal plan? I don't think so. Ideally kids should be born into secure and stable homes. But this plan was a worthy substitute for the kids who's biological mothers couldn't provide for them. It was also a worthy substitute for this couple who couldn't have kids of their own. What it is is God's redemptive plan for things that went as they shouldn't have.

Isn't that the story of the resurrection? Was sacrificing Jesus God's ideal plan? Not at all! His ideal plan was for man to never sin, but man did. Christ was The Worthy Substitute to restore us to Him.

I've often wrestled with finding God's ideal plan for my life, be it in work, ministry or relationships. And i often get hung up and kick myself for missing out on God's best for me. Yes, i've screwed-up countless times! But who hasn't? No human has ever got God's ideal plan right from the beginning of time. Everyone has screwed-up. Just look at biblical characters, David committed adultery and murder, Moses killed an Egyptian and ended up wandering in the wilderness for decades before God called him back. Would have things been different if these men didn't mess up? Sure, God may have had better wife in mind for David, He may have rescued the Jews from slavery decades earlier if Moses hadn't committed manslaughter...

It's always been about redeeming what was lost with a worthy substitute. Starting with our relationship with God, to our vocation, family, and relationships with others. We can't control the outcome of bad decisions, not ours nor those of others. But we can be open to His redemptive plan, if we allow Him to redeem our failures and those of others, in this fallen and broken world.