No Goldilocks, no bears

A number of days ago, someone decided to enter my little house in the forest. They didn’t eat any of my porridge or break any of my chairs, nor did the police found any evidence that Goldilocks might have slept in one of my beds. But what they did find was a broken door knob, and just a couple of things missing that should have been there. And no, the three bears weren’t guarding the place either.

It was early Tuesday evening when i got the message from my realtor that someone had broken into my place by the lake. Not a good feeling, but no big deal either,.. or so i thought. I’ve gained and lost much more in my 47 year journey than this small building could ever contain. So in the big picture this incident seemed quite minuscule at first.

And minuscule it is, yet a few hours later that evening it all started to sink in. An awful and sickening feeling that someone uninvited, someone unwelcome, someone unwanted forced their way onto my premises and into my life. I’ve never had quite that feeling before, perhaps because i’ve never been burglarized before. Sure, i’ve had cars broken into and things stolen from me while traveling, business partners cheat me, but i have never had anyone unwelcome enter my place, a place i once painstakingly rebuilt and renovated, furnished, lived, entertained, rested, and slept in. This was my territory, my abode.

When you put your heart into something and it fails, breaks or crumbles it can be quite a rough experience to swallow. But when someone else damages, steals or violates what you’ve poured your heart into and comes into your personal space, it feels quite different. It feels almost as if part of your life or soul has been taken from you. Even when the violation causes minimal physical loss or damage, as it was in this case.

As i try to make sense of my emotions in all this, it occurs to me that God has created us as territorial beings. I’m not really one who’s preoccupied with possessions, though i must admit to babying my cars and motorcycles in my younger days. This experience however has reminded me how important my territory and personal space is. Most things i own are replaceable or fixable, but violation of my space and my territory is not.

I think of my parents who fled their homeland during an occupation. Their land and territory was suddenly in the control of someone else. It hurts when your territory is occupied. No matter where they may have gone, no matter how beautiful the new place may be (or even those who remained in their territory), the pain of one’s territory being occupied remains.

The occupation of my territory was just for a moment, yet it was a clear violation of my space. It’s not so much about what they did or took (though if caught, they should clearly make some kind of restitution), but it’s the fact that they crossed both a visible and an invisible line into my life. This is the type of violation, a territorial violation that can dismantle one’s security.

The scriptures talks a lot about territories. Look through the Old Testament, countless stories of land being taken from people and people take from their land. It also talks about kingdoms of darkness and light, spiritual territories we can’t see with our physical eyes. Ephesians 6:12 says our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against powers and principalities of the spiritual realm.

Hmm,... principalities... (turn on the lightbulb!) It’s all about the control of territories! Our lives, our families, our homes, our nations are not about possessions, but about territories! The enemy has no right to enter our space, yet that’s exactly what he tries to do time after time and again! So what is securing our territory? How do we defend it?

Well, you certainly can’t count on the three bears to be around to guard your porridge, chairs and beds. It’s just not possible to always protect your possessions from thieves! But what you can do is protect your most important territory, the territory of your heart. The scripture says: ‘Guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life' (Proverbs 4:23). This is the territory the enemy wants to violate! Look ahead to Matthew 6:21 where it states: 'Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also'. So if your heart is on your possessions, the enemy’s already got you!

So what are my most valued treasures and territories? And how should i guard them?
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What i am not learning..

Ever notice some things come in circles. A kinda deja-vu feeling you get sometimes, perhaps experiences you re-live time and time again. Why does the same thing always go wrong? After a long journey, why does it seem i’m no further ahead? Have i not learned to travel from point A to point B? Have i not read the compass correctly?

Our lives are a journey. At times we do re-visit places, sometimes they are fond memories which bring us back. But it’s the not so fond memories that seem to haunt us. We try to get away, but then we re-live that memory again, albeit often through a new experience which makes it seem like we’re walking in circles. And then we ask why do we end up back in the same place in life? Don’t i have my destination plotted? Don’t i have a vision of my goal?

The Bible tells us stories of many journeys. one of the most well known is the 40 year trek it took the Israelites to reach the promised land! FOURTY YEAR TREK?!! They should have reached at least China by then, or crossed the Bering sea to Alaska, or even all the way through South America in 40 years! But they couldn’t find their way out of a wilderness of just a couple hundred square miles...

How often are we stuck in the same place with our lives? It just doesn’t get any better, though it should,.. we don’t travel any further through we could,.. it’s as if we can’t break the invisible chain that no one else can see! And if it’s so, are we really free?

The people of Israel were freed from Egyptian chains, yet were not freed from their own invisible chains. They needed to learn a lesson they somehow didn’t understand. They still had the mindset of a prisoner. True freedom, and real movement does not begin and end with physical freedom. It begins with the renewing of our minds. Sunday in church, i heard testimonies from two ex-convicts who have recently been pardoned and are now free from prison. One of the guys shared this statement: "Penitentiary is a place, but prison is a mindset”

How many people are physically free, yet imprisoned by their minds? Someone within the walls of a penitentiary can be more free than someone wandering in freedom, in a desert or concrete jungle. Were the Israelites free to wander for 40 years? Yes, physically free, but their mindset imprisoned them to place they could not leave.

What is our mindset? Are we imprisoned by our own thought patterns, or are we truly free to see our destination, and the path God has ordained for us? Do we keep going in circles oblivious to the lessons we should learn, or do we learn and move ahead in our lives? What is my destination? What is my goal? What do i need to learn to move on from here? Something to ask yourself the next time you have a deja-vu moment, or find yourself where you’ve been once before...

Cars like me..

I met up with a friend in Colorado Springs this morning. Car shopping wasn't in our plans, but after i got a return call from the owner of a 1972 Datsun 240z, he kindly offered to drive me to see the car. This former beauty had certainly seen better times, being one of the finest sports cars of it's day. Now in a critically sad state, it's paint faded and body mutilated by an unqualified surgeon, she somehow cried out for a new master to restore this 240z patient to her former health and glory. And regardless of how deep my compassion may have been, i just knew i wasn't qualified for this job.

Next we headed down to see a 1984 Jaguar XJ6. A sweet looking car, the series III is arguably the most beautiful XJ6 of all. From a distance the misty blue car looked gorgeous, though a closer inspection showed cosmetic flaws covered by a cheap overspray paint job. Like an old wrinkled face, covered by a thin layer of make-up that somehow just doesn't quite enhance the subject's true beauty. Jags tend to be finicky too, and can let you down at the most critical moments. Even though she had been maintained well, Jag's inherent character would certainly continue to demand high amounts of attention in the future... kinda like some people i know...

Earlier in the day, i also viewed a 1960 Corvair sedan. It's long rough journey was clearly evident in the dings and dents throughout it's body, though it's sheet metal seemed to be solid and relatively rust-free... at least until you discover it's rusted out floor. You just don't notice some things at first glance..

I started wondering how much we're like these cars. A cool Corvair, that seems solid but the bottom's rusted out,.. a beautiful Jag, though not the most cooperative,.. or perhaps like that 240z with great potential, if only it hadn't been neglected and mutilated by an unskilled wannabee...

Each of these cars needed the skills of a master craftsman to bring them back to life. Someone to sand down that cheap 'whitewash' paint-job, and apply a deeper luster to it's finish. A craftsman who could properly restore the floor, foundation, the soul and the body, not just apply Bondo patch upon patch.

Do we realize that a true restoration takes painstaking detail and time? How often do we look for the quick fix, spray a cheap cover over the cracks and flaws in our lives? Of course, diligent maintenance could have saved each of these cars from their current state. The same is true with us. How we maintain our physical, emotional and spiritual well-being has a clear effect on our future state. Certainly something for us to think about...

Fortunately there is one master craftsman available who can restore our broken and faded lives. Even after we've crashed and burned, He can take our wreck and not only restore it, but create a beautiful roadworthy legacy that many could follow. And even though He is The Master Restorer, maintenance still remains our sole (and soul) responsibility...

7 days in Utopia

it's the second film i've seen in a short while... An interesting golf story, at least for those of you who are golfers. Though i'm not an avid golfer, the film did bring home a message much deeper than the passion of the sport itself. What is important in life?

Many of us are driven to succeed. We are driven by our parents, piers, friends and colleagues expectations of us. Expectations to get ahead, expectations to succeed, expectations to be better than the rest and win!

But what happens when we don't meet these expectations? What happens when we fail to reach our goals. Is our value diminished, are we less than we could or should be?

to be continued..

Midnight in Paris

It's not very often i watch a film at the cinema. Recently i went to see a movie called 'Midnight in Paris'. An interesting story about a nostalgic writer who, while walking on the streets of Paris at midnight was invited to take a ride in a 1920's car which actually transported him back in time to the 1920's.

This writer had an obsession with the 20's, believing this was the era he should have lived in. As he travels back in time, he meets great writers and artists including Hemingway and Picasso, but also a young lady who is obsessed with the 1890's era, expressing that the 1920's are not interesting at all.

Eventually they are transported back to the 1890's where he sees that there's nostalgic and uncontent people in that era as well, and suddenly realizes our nostalgia actually creates a fantasy of how nice it might be to live in the past. The present (today) will be tomorrow's nostalgic past, so we should learn to appreciate the era we live in and make most of the moment at hand.

How often do we wish to see old times again? How often do we wish we could turn back time? The fact is that we never can turn back time, so we need to accept and make most of each moment at hand.

FishHouse

I didn't really listen to the sermon at church today. My attention was drawn towards a fellow to my left, nodding his head back and forth. 'I know that nodding! Is that Tiit?' i asked myself. As he stepped out of the church i quickly followed, but discovered it was not him after all. Still my thoughts remained on Tiit for the balance of the service. 

Tiit and his friend Raul were two developmentally challenged young men who would often attend our youth fellowship back in 1993-96. I hadn't seen Tiit in probably 15 years, so i started to wonder what ever become of him. The youth would always welcome him and Raul to our meetings, we talked and laughed and prayed and ate together. And though at times it was a challenge to relate, we still treated them as friends, perhaps even more special as if they were family. Unfortunately we've lost contact since those days...

A couple of years ago i ran into Raul, as a friend and i were walking in Kalamaja. Kalamaja is an old part of Tallinn, and this area's name literally translated means 'FishHouse'. Though historically this area had ties to the fishing industry and has a quaint character of it's own, over the past decades it's also become an area where the socially challenged tend to reside. Certainly not the safest or cleanest part of town, in places it seems life there is just as slimy and smelly as the fish works once was, just in a different way. 

Raul was walking down the street, looking weary, clothes filthy from a day of dumpster diving, but when he saw me an optimistic smile lit up his face, almost as i had always remembered him. I admit his appearance shocked me, since he always wore clean clothes when he attended our youth group. I hesitated in shaking his hand, Raul politely didn't reach out his hand either acknowledging his ratty appearance. We talked shortly, wished each other well along with a blessing, and my friend and i walked on to a restaurant to have dinner together. During that dinner i kept thinking about Raul wishing i had taken his phone number, address, or some contact information. Perhaps there might be something i could do to help him. 

I'm not sure it was a coincidence that i was reminded of Tiit and Raul today. As this fellow i saw in church today, many of us are challenged in one way or another and have need of a brother's fellowship and friendship. Unfortunately so often we shy away from relating to strange and needy people, especially when they seem a bit smelly and slimy. I know, it's much easier to look and walk the other way. 

So i was left wondering this afternoon, in the past 15 years have Tiit and Raul have found the kind of acceptance and love that each and every person needs? I'm not all implying that our acceptance and love towards them was perfect, far from it, but i can certainly say our caring was genuine.

After church, i walked in Kalamaja for a while, praying that perhaps God might bring Raul along my path again. I sincerely pray that there's someone in these mens lives who are caring and compassionate, perhaps sharing some fish and bread with them, along with the genuine love of Christ.

prologue: Sunday, 11 September 2011

God answered my prayer. I met Raul this afternoon, he was just as i saw him two years ago, coming from dumpster diving with two large plastic bags in hand full of empty bottles. He was happy to see me and exclaimed “God has blessed me today, i’ve earned over 30euros in just a couple of hours!” He then shared how he was working as a janitor for two months over the summer, but his employer never paid him wages that were promised. Sad when people take advantage of disadvantaged people, though it also made me angry that someone would abuse Raul’s trust. We walked together while he checked all the trash receptacles en-route for more bottles. You know, what others may have thought about Raul, his appearances or me walking with him, didn’t even bother me. I was glad God brought him along my path. I got his phone number, blessed him and we parted company. I hope to get together with him again next time i’m in Estonia.