Honour ordained vs honour earned

I had dinner with a good friend last week, and as she shared with me some of the conversations she's had with her mom, I sensed how much she appreciates and honours her mother. Yet as we were talking, something troubled me though at that moment i couldn't pinpoint exactly what. I now aknowledge that i felt a little envious, as i don't recall ever having such deep conversations with my mom or dad.

A couple of days later as i was sorting through some old books, I felt led to browse one i've never read; 'The Promise' by Philip Rosenbaum. This book focuses on the first commandment God gave with a promise, Exodus 20:12 'Honour your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God will giving you' (NLT)

I don't know about you, but my relationship with my parents was never very close or deep. Although i knew my parents loved me, this love was often distant, intertwined with resentment and pain. In some ways i despised my parents during my teen years, but as i matured i learned to forgive and understand how painful events had formed and influenced their behaviour. I do love my parents, yet i sometimes wonder if i've learned to honour them as i should.

Growing up in my parent's home was not easy, but there are many who have experienced much worse than I could imagine. Severe neglect and abuse can lead one to ask 'how can parents like these be honoured?' Yet the command is unconditional, and the promise is conditional on obeying the command. We are to honour our parents regardless if we feel they deserve it or not.

We tend to believe honour should be earned, but there is a difference between earned honour and ordained honour. A king may loose the respect of his subjects if he behaves inapropriatly (as many kings have), yet an ordained king should continue to receive honour as the Bible clearly instructs. Our parents have not been chosen by us but by God. Regardless of who they are, how they behave, or what they believe, our parents have also been ordained to be honoured by us.

So the question is, am i honouring my parents as i should? Have i really understood and grasped the depth of this truth and its implications? This promise of life and wellbeing is dependent on how we honour our parents and God. Do we honour God because he has earned it? No, He is also to be honoured regardless of how we feel. So let us learn to give honour to all whom it is due.