Are you sad?

I was listening to the local jazz radio station as i drove back from the cottage last night, and a song called 'Are you sad?' by 'Our Lady Peace' was played. The music itself didn't move me as much as the question it posed. The songwriter asks this question of his friend, wondering why he has not shared his need or concern.

Why do people tend to close themselves up when they are sad? Depression creates a feeling of unacceptance, feeling very alone, as no-one would understand. And yes it's true, rarely can another person truly understand what you feel and what you are going through. Each of our circumstances are unique, as well as the way we have been created and raised. I thought of my own situation, how difficult it has been to come to terms with my 'sadness', and how so few people even have an inkling of how i feel.

There are people all around us that are sad. People who are hurting and in need of an encouraging word, a listening ear, or just a good hug. How do we act? How sensative or receptive are we to these friends? Do we distance ourselves, feeling uncomfortable. Or do we just say those 'encouraging words' get your act together!? And maybe those ever so disconnecting words 'I understand...'?

The truth is, we rarely understand why we ourselves we are sad, let alone anyone else. Undertanding the source of our own sadness can help us overcome it, but rarely this in itself is sufficient. At times we all need someone to pick us up, to share a good word and give a hug. But perhaps with all the above we need someone to ask the question, why are you sad?

Seeking to understand another persons sadness helps us to be sensative in our encouragement. I have certainly felt the sharp edge of someone's well meaning 'encouaging' word just gouge deeper into me, only to cause more damage and pain.

'Are you sad?' is a door opening question. It's a question of concern and not judgemental. God has created us as social beings who have need to share our heart with others. Keeping our sadness to ourselves never resolves anything.

The scripture in Romans 12:15 tells us to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. While it's easy to rejoice with another, i've always been more appreciative of those who stand by me in my deepest dispair. Unfortunately there are few that do.

There is a time for everything in our journey. The writer of Ecclesiastics learned well that there is...

a time to weep...
a time to laugh...
a time to mourn...
a time to dance...
a time to embrace...
a time to lose...
a time to keep silence...
a time to speak...