7 day friends

(initially posted 10 March 2011)

We all have different types of days in our journey, some good, some not so good, some are days of victory, some days seem like complete losses, and days full of joy or full of sorrow. Have you ever tracked your friends, looked where they are in relation to you during good and bad days, and for that matter where you are in relation to them in their times of joy and sorrow?

This morning i read a passage from the book of Job. I stopped to look at what Job's friends did when he was going through a rough time in his life. Three friends from different places, dropped all they were doing and came to see Job as soon as they received news of the disaster that had beset him.

Didn't these friends have their own responsibilities, things to do, and important business to look after? What motivated them to come, to leave their business, home and families to visit a friend in need?

True friendship. They understood the eternal value of relationships. What amazed me more was the fact that these friends did not initially offer any assistance to restore the loss or try to make things right. They came, tore their clothes, sat with Job, and in solidarity took on his sorrow. They didn't comfort him for a few hours or a day, but for a full week!

The scripture says they spoke no words during these 7 days. It seems they grappled with the situation which seemed to have no logic or reason. How often do we come across friends like this? How often are we a friend like this to others? Do we have time to mourn with our friends in their time of need? Or do we only come when there's something to rejoice about? Or perhaps come to give a quick word of (often inappropriate) advice, a pat on the back and run off to do our own thing.

No doubt Job's friends knew how to rejoice and celebrate for 7 days. It was not uncommon to have a 7 day party in those days, be it to celebrate a birth, a wedding or soem other occasion. A lot more friends attends parties than wakes. But it takes a special friend to sit with you through 7 days of difficulty.

Job's friends knew that one day was not enough to comfort, or even assess the situation. In this case it seems that even 7 days didn't suffice to form a proper assessment. Only after assessing the situation for a full week, Job's friends spoke. They were by no means quick to offer advice, and they still got it wrong! Wow!

American indians had a saying: Never judge another unless you have walked a mile in their moccasins. You see we never can completely understand what another is experiencing, so we should slow to criticize or offer advice. Now advice is good, but it should be presented in a way that does not alienate relationships. So often we draw conclusions which are so wrong!

A true friend is born in adversity. Adversity shows who a true friend is. Regardless of what advice Job's friends gave, they were friends he could count on not for just one day, but all 7 days of the week.