Sometimes life hits us hard. Broken relationships, lost aspirations, and shattered dreams. Disappointing events and people roll across our planned path. Despite our best efforts, our journey becomes thwarted by circumstances and people of both good and bad intentions. Few accept us as we are, many try to change our path or direction, some even skew what we say and do into something that's untrue. We are often misunderstood, misrepresented, misjudged and misled. At times it creates amusement, often inconvenience, in worse cases it be painful blows which knock us off balance and to the ground.
Loss of a job, deteriorating health, loss of a family member or loss of a friend, these all heavy loads to carry. But what do you do when the load becomes too much, when the blows of life hit you relentlessly. You struggle, you grapple, you ask the hard questions... why?? Where is God's protection? Where is His blessing? Have i been abandoned? And just as you begin to re-grasp God's love and trust in His goodness again, you are hit by the ultimate blow. That final blow where your faith is shaken to it's core, and you question all you have ever believed. A decision must be made, do you grapple on or turn away...
So many loose faith in the midst of hard blows. After a culmination of disappointments it only takes one more blow to stop hoping and believing. Sometimes we hide the fact our faith has faltered, that our expectations have not been met, our hopes and aspirations have been shattered. We move behind a facade of faith though our hope in God has crumbled. We seek something to hold on to, something to shore up this wall of faith while it's foundation's been eroded or washed away..
We lean on good friends, but sometimes friends and enemies are difficult to distinguish. Proverbs speaks about the kisses of an enemy, and the blows of a sincere friend. Some present themselves as a friend yet their motives are nothing less than personal gain. They take advantage when you're the most vulnerable, perhaps a Judas who betrays you for a handful of silver. He's no stranger, he's the one who you spent sweet fellowship with, the one who you broke bread with, the one who you trusted with your plans, the one who you trusted with your heart...
This type of dissapointment is often a breaking point. If you can't trust a close friend, who can you trust? And after a series of disappointments and unanswered prayers, is even God trustworthy? Why has our faith crumbled? Let me reemphasize that: Why has OUR faith crumbled?
If OUR faith is based on fulfillment of a plan, a dream, a hope or a desire, it's vulnerable to circumstances. Circumstances that don't meet our expectations or approval, circumstances that make us question if God is good at all. We break into a tantrum, rebellion, or quiet resignation. God was supposed to fill my life with all blessings, all things good, but He has failed me! Maybe He's rejected me, maybe i'm paying for a past or hidden sin...
Maybe,.. but maybe God's wooing us to deeper place. A place of understanding we haven't really understood, a place of freedom where we've shackled ourselves with chains of expectation and disillusion, a place of dependency not in our life vision, but in His grace. Perhaps it's a place where God wants us to embrace Him with all we have and the deep undeniable security of knowing all things will STILL work for good as He's promised in Romans 8:28. Not only when there are bumps or detours on the road, but also when we're broken down, out of fuel, and left with no hope or recourse... except Him.
Some say it's a dangerous prayer to ask God to grow our faith, and i must agree. It can become the most difficult test where many fail and walk away. But is our hope based on our circumstances, and our contentment on what we believe is good for us? Is it based on being able to see the path He has planned for us, or trusting him for the next step? I don't think any of Christ's disciples would have kept going had they known what awaited them. Nor would we. Keeping the faith in the deepest valley, not seeing any path or road that might lead you to the mountaintop, yet maintaining Shalom, the peace that surpasses understanding with the assurance that God will lead still you there again.
It takes a full embrace to keep going. It's not just wishful thinking that fades at the first obstacle or a hope that crumbles. A full embrace is more than holding one's hand, more than grasping the edge of His cloak or the end of a random rope. An embrace is never one sided, but two. This embrace is holding on to God while He holds on to you. An embrace exemplifies love and security. There is nothing that can harm you when you are embraced by the arms of God. He will carry you through the darkest valley, just as He will care for you in green pastures (psalm 23). He is loving, He is caring, and that He is good. But we can only receive His embrace when we embrace Him in the midst of our deepest valley. Only then can He take us to the mountaintop again.
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