True understanding

If you’ve been following this blog, you’ve probably noticed i haven’t written much over the few months. It’s not that i’ve lacked time or desire to, but because i’ve been in a deep and dark valley, struggling with a number of issues, some deeply personal and some regarding my health. At times like this i tend to become more secluded and less sociable, especially when it seems hard to find true understanding anywhere.

Focusing on projects or entertainment, or even other people’s issues has helped keep my mind off this deepening pain, but it hasn’t helped resolve all that’s amiss. God may be the only one who can truly understand, though He has been mysteriously quiet lately... I keep asking, what is He trying to teach me?

Yet i’ve grown quite weary of all the searching and wrestling, and receiving ‘judgmental advice’ from well (and some not so well) meaning friends, mostly given in the fashion of Job’s good old friends. Precariously few however, have taken time to sit with me for a while, before opening their ‘wise’ mouths...

Yesterday i met with a friend (about 10 years older than me), whom i also had lunch with a few months ago. For some reason i felt comfortable sharing my struggles with him. He listened intently, without saying a word, without a nod of acknowledgment, nor any other sign he might understand. I kept talking and he kept listening, which in some ways was refreshing compared to the way most of my friends interrupt and interject when i speak.

After being quiet for a while, i wondered if he could relate to anything i’ve shared. He replied ‘Yep, I think I can,.. I’ve been there too.’ Suddenly i’m looking at someone who can identify with me and my struggle. He shared no conventional 'words of wisdom’, nor did he patronize or judge me based on his experiences or understanding of scripture. He simply assured me that no matter how dark and lifeless the valley may seem, God is still there and has never left me. Just look for the smallest sign of life, as little as a twitching of a finger.

Words of understanding are often much more powerful than words of wisdom, teaching, and guidance many so eagerly give. Without doubt there is merit to seeking wisdom and guidance as the scripture instructs, but there are times when this does not suffice. There are moments when we need to find true understanding, compassion and grace, where no 'words of wisdom' can help, but to just sit with the hurting without speaking a word.

I think of the phrase ‘A picture is worth a thousand words’. In a similar way our lives are like a picture, a masterpiece of God. All of life’s lighter and darker moments are painted on the canvas of our soul, creating a picture worth much more than a thousand words. And each of our words can add or take away from the beauty of this masterpiece. When you see each life as a divine masterpiece, you begin to understand it’s sometimes better to have few words, for our words do have the power to make or break the picture.